actually at loss for words. most of my birthday yesterday was spent being lectured about a guy I know and how bad news he is and how I'd be a mug to speak to him again and then to cap it off my 'friend' who was lecturing me later on started saying about a girl at work who self harms and how she takes the piss out of her and for whatever reason started saying how someone committed suicide nearby a couple of years ago and that she thinks anyone who tries to commit suicide or commits it are selfish and just generally being so derogative about the whole thing. she knows all about my past (I'm a self harmer and have previously tried to commit suicide 3 times since 2011) and now I just feel like she actually isn't as much of a friend as I thought but I'm actually scared to say anything to her because she does scare me and I know she could make my life hell 😭

I feel like I just went through the motions and I don't actually think I enjoyed 96% of my birthday and it's made me feel even worse.