Cheater... Do I try to make it work?

Question

I am 17 weeks pregnant and have my wedding planned for 2 weeks from now. I just learned today that about a month ago my fiancé cheated on me. We are long distance right now bc he is in the marine corps so he had the other woman to our house and sleep in our bed. I absolutely cannot even dream about sleeping in that bed again... Or even touching him at this point. But I can't dream about raising my child 12 hours away and not having its daddy. As of now the wedding is postponed. I don't know what to do. Am I weak if I forgive and work things out with him for the baby's sake? Or do I need to tell him to F off and call it quits? Any advice is welcome!

Answer

Such a hard situation. No one can make this decision but you. You were smart to postpone the wedding. Give yourself as much time as you need to figure it out. Listen to your intuition and do what you think is best for you AND baby. Good luck! ❤

Answer

How did you find out? Did he come clean out of guilt or get caught? This makes a difference in my response...

Answer

Once a cheater always a cheater. You can give him another chance because he may be that rare percentage where this was a one time thing & he never ever does it again but remember that if you take him back & he does it again you can't be mad at him because it was your decision to take him back knowing that he has the ability to cheat.  Or shit you stay with him long enough & get some of that military money & benefits for you & your child lol.  But seriously don't be with him if you know you can never trust him again because that isn't fair to you, you should never let anyone make you go insane.  Everyone puts a big hype about being with the father of your child but maybe it was meant to be that you have a kid by him but not be with him.   Everything happens for a reason.

Answer

Personally, I say count your blessings your not already married! I would leave him. You may forgive but you'll never forget and that's not something I want to live with! And what makes you think he won't do it again?'

Answer

I would definitely say F off and leave his cheating ass! That is the one thing in my book that is 100% unacceptable no matter what the circumstances are

Answer

GOOD JOB standing strong! So you guys will have an uphill battle for sure but as long as you make him fight it, it will be worth it. I don't think he's just trying for the baby-men don't bond with the baby before they are born like we do. What he's probably doing is using the baby as a method to get back in good graces with you and that's smart of him actually bc it's obviously a way to a pregnant woman's heart...I had a hell of a time with my daughter's father (she's 12 now). We were engaged when I was pregnant, bought a house, etc and I found out when she was about 9 mos old that he was cheating on me and had been pretty much our whole relationship (looking back, I knew the whole time I just didn't WANT to see it). He was a real piece of shit back then. I had stayed home to take care of our daughter and the house we bought was solely in my name, however, he had his name put on the deed so he had rights to the house but not financial responsibility. He refinanced the house for a 25k profit and took the money and split. I was forced to sell the house, find a job (I was 23, fresh out of college, and had a daughter under 1 I needed daycare for). Let alone I was living in his home state-1800 miles from my family. Well, I got a job, got a shitty apartment, and worked my ass off to get my masters degree. He of course came back multiple times (and I did take him back more than once for the sake of my daughter) but he never stopped with the other women. Maybe we were too young, maybe it was just who he is. LONG story (so sorry!) short, I am now happily married, expecting a baby boy with my husband, own a home (that I bought on my own as I spent several years as a single mom and being very particular about who I let around my daughter). I found my perfect match

Answer

Yea work it out for the baby sake but let him know if he loves his child and you. You not bout to go threw this shit again cause a wife with kids is a family. And that is to be treated like gold. So I tell you to pray on it and if it happens again its you and the child and he can butt his way out cause a man got to know how to use his brain and not his penis and open his eyes and know what's real in his life.

Answer

If he's in the marines he's going to be long distance a lot. My experience with Marines (being that I was one) was that a majority of them cheated on their spouses while away from home. :( it's a part of the reality of being in the military and unfortunately not a lot of people are strong enough to be celibate and faithful when away from home for long periods of time. This is why 82% of military marriages end in divorce. I would spend some time figuring out what you want to do; you don't have to rush to make a decision and if you need some space from your fiancé while you think then take it.

Answer

Trust is compromised and it's really difficult to regain it, especially after something like this. Personally, I would leave him.

Answer

If you can't trust him, I think you have your answer. I hope it all works out!

Cheater... Do I try to make it work?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey