I don’t know about you ladies... but I’m starting to wear thin.

Remember when You and your SO first decided to TTC? All of the excitement, the dreams of what your life was going to be like. The mother you were going to be?

I do.. and now i wish I could have told myself back then to gear up for the long road ahead.

The road filled with tests and medication, constant negative HPT’s, the feeling of failure... that this is the only thing in life that you can “do everything right, put all your effort it” and get no result.

I’m so sad that I’ve lost my ability to be happy for those who are pregnant. I’m no longer jealous of them... I just have chosen to turn off all emotion around pregnancy.

I’m tired, and every few months it shows.

I pretend like it’s okay, I pretend like I believe it’s going to happen to me, I pretend like I don’t care..

Then a day comes along where it all crashes down and you wonder how much longer I will be pretending.

I know god has a plan for me, but sometimes it’s hard to see...

I know I am powerless over it, but I feel powerless over everything.

I’m tired, I’m sad, and I just want to know when this will get easier