This is going to be super long but I need thoughts. My SO and I have been together for 6 years now and have a 15 month old together. Our entire relationship has always been on the rocks with my FIL. We have had many fights over the way he treats my SO and I and really everyone in general. He is disrespectful in just about every way possible to the point that even his own family doesn’t enjoy being around him much and try to avoid him. Last year, we got into a fight because he is growing weed IN HIS HOUSE and wants to keep our one year old there. Which isn’t gonna happen because I like having custody of my son and don’t trust my FIL. Anyways, we’ve fought in the past about that, things he has said about “woman’s place”, and how he treats my MIL and my SO. Well today it got way out of hand. We had to go over to my in laws house for my SO birthday dinner. And politics got brought up. And I stated my opinion and he stated his. Then he got super mad about my disagreeing with him and started yelling at me. I got upset but I just walked off and let it be, trying to avoid confrontation. I told my husband that I was ready to go. So we start gathering things (diaper bag and such) to start leaving and I go to the bathroom to get some stuff. Well I hear my FIL say “She just doesn’t want to hear the truth!” And it really ticked me off. It’s so disrespectful and childish to talk about me like I’m not even there! So I snapped. I walked in the kitchen and I told him it was rude and he got out of his chair and into my face and started yelling and acting like he was going to hit me. So I yelled right back and it got really ugly fast. I left the house telling him “Fuck you Motherfucker!” And Of course my SO isn’t going to allow his father to talk to me that way, so he had jumped in the middle of our fight when his dad was trying to hurt me. But now the damage is done after years of this coming. And I don’t think it can be fixed, nor am I sure I want to fix it. My son doesn’t need that kind of negativity in his life, but at the same time, this is my husband’s father. And I don’t want to be the reason why they don’t have a relationship anymore (despite SO saying his dad is toxic and agrees with me wholeheartedly about our issues). I just don’t know how to handle this. It’s going to be rough on the rest of our family by when do you say “enough is enough!” And stand up to the bully? I mean, this is a man who emotionally abuses everyone he comes in contact with and I’m not trying to “play the victim” because I’m not completely innocent, but he thinks he is a king and above us all. He walks over us like we are nothing, with no regards for others. And I’m the kind of person who doesn’t take shit from others. But should I make up for the sake of the family? Should I let him in my son’s life or cut both of my in laws out completely?