I need to vent this might be offensive sorry

I can't take it anymore. Why did God give her a baby and not me! She is six mouths into her pregnancy and don't have a pot to piss in and I know I will do so good at being a mommy! But yet God is letting her be a mommy again and not me just once this is her third child and I cant have just one. I am trying so hard to be happy for her and deep down all my smiles are fake. She said I can be GODMOM and this baby can call me mommy my name. I know I am being selfish right! Every shed of hope for a baby feels ripped from me! I pray every day for peace and still can't find it. GOD I AM SCREAMING TO YOU! Please give me peace so I can just be happy about this. I want to be happy so bad! I almost got her everything she needs for her new baby and I even got to name him! Joey is his name. All I want is for my pain to be gone. I want to stop feeling this way