Baby girl love keeping her mama up all night long with her kick and flips. I don't go a day without my entire back aching or heartburn at night. Saying I'm uncomfortable is a understatement.

But I'm perfectly okay with all of it!

I started suffering from weekly panic attacks again, with her due date only 6 weeks away, everything is becoming so real and terrifying. A normal feeling for first time mom's but adding grief magnifies the fear. The fear of birth, the fear of the past repeating itself. I'm grateful for my amazing team of doctors who support me and let me decide what I felt was best for my daughter and I, they are keeping a close eye on both of us.

I have accepted my grief a long time ago, I'm not ashamed to cry, scream, and just freak out. It's apart of my life. It shows the love I have for both Arlo and my daughter is so strong and unbreakable. I am unbreakable.

I grieve with hope 🌈