Earlier this week I was sodomized by my boyfriend. When we went to his house with my almost 2 year old son to talk about it then next day (I guess I wanted him to magically fix it with words), his other girlfriend that I didn't know about pulled up before us. He has been with this girl for almost 5 years but when we started dating he told me they had broken up a bit before. They live together apparently. Anyway. He ended up getting angry with ME and they both started yelling at me and my son and he fired shots and had me AND MY SON at gun point. He owns the shop 2 buildings down from my work in a shopping mall so I see him nearly everyday. I have had a rape kit done and am in the process of pressing charges and such on EVERYTHING that has happened.... But I'm still afraid to leave my house. I've cancelled serving at my church for the next month. I told my small group leader I can't come anymore. I just yelled at my grandmother because she wanted to take me shopping and hasn't stopped asking me for the past week if I'm ready yet. I'm terrified. I'm on the verge of tears constantly. I'm angry, upset, scared, irritable. I just want to lay in my bed and cry. Somebody please tell me it gets better. Tell me I'll recover soon. And tell me that going after him legally is the right thing to do. He told me if I tried to report it is look like an idiot and no one would believe me. I feel like with every call I have with the detective, the farther in a sinking hole I get. I feel like I'm wasting my time and I'm just not going to win. I feel like everyone can look at me and know exactly what's going on. I feel like I want to move far far far away and forget he even existed and that the past week never happened and I'm perfectly fine. But honestly I just don't know if I can recover from this. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder. I told my babysitter that my son isn't allowed to go outside (scared for his life). And when I'm at work I keep the door locked until I see someone coming to it. I can't continue this. I need to know there's a light.