My boyfriend/fiancé and I are going to elope, but I don’t know how to break it to my family. Here’s the situation:

I was married when I was 21 and divorced by 23. It was a huge mistake and something that I felt pressured to do because I had been with him since I was 16. We separated before our first anniversary but the official divorce process took a while. Anyway, I met my current guy right as my ex and I were separating. He’s been there through the mess of filing papers and dealing with crap and has been nothing but supportive.

One hang up, he lives in Finland and my parents haven’t met him yet. I was there for 3 months, over the holidays and we lived together during that time. Before that, we spent 10 months just really talking and getting to know each other. We’re definitely in a place where we know what kind of commitment this is and we want it. I have a job that I currently telecommute to in Finland and I’m actually going to be made a partner once I move back, it’s a small company and I’ll be the head of marketing! Woo! Super excited for that 😊

Anyway, there’s lots of reasons to move and to be with him. He’s perfect for me and our relationship is incredible. I got to really know his family while I was abroad and that’s the only thing I’m concerned about. His family absolutely loves me, but mine doesn’t know him AT ALL. They know we’re dating, but not the exact timeline because everything has been so messy with the divorce and they really liked my ex. I’m not sure how to tell them we are going to get married, but they do know I’m moving over there in April. My boyfriend will be coming here for 3 weeks before then so he can meet them, but I don’t really want to break the news right away because I’m concerned with dumping too much on them all at once with the move and the elopement.

How would you suggest I tell them?

I’m planning on telling them once we’re back in Finland and they had time to get to know him, but I feel partly guilty to be keeping it from them now. We’re thinking of telling them that we’re engaged when he’s here to help cushion the blow.