Scared of my parents


First off I’m 22. I’m a full time college student. I work full time. I do absolutely nothing to go against my VERY strict, Mexican-traditional, old school parents. Sure, I was a bad teenager. I own up to it. I’ve made very bad (relationship) choices growing up and I hear it from them everyday til this day and they literally put me in the worst depression and give me the worst anxiety ever. I’m the oldest of 4 so I have it way harder than the rest. If I talk back (jokingly or not) it’s an automatic you can get the hell out of my house type of deal. I fear of getting kicked out almost daily. The ONLY person (besides God) that keeps me sane is my boyfriend. He has healed me and mended me far more than I can think. He genuinely cares about me. I know it. (I’ve tested his boundaries/faithfulness, countlessly). Everything is good when I’m with him. I forget about everything. My point, how do I tell my parents I’m in love with him? How do I get over the fact that they’ll be mad? Or think less of me? I try so hard DAILY to have their acceptance but all they ever do is give me tough love. I’m tired of hurting and living in fear. I love my boyfriend and it’s only fair to him to tell my parents that I’m madly in love with him and I see a future with him. I’m so lost. Please give me some advice. Thanks ladies.