Hello all.

I just need to write this somewhere because everyone I know is “rooting” for me/ us and I don’t want to disappoint them by giving up.

I have been trying to become a Mum for 10 years. Not months, YEARS! All I’ve had in that time was an EMC with my ex in Jan 2010.

I was trying with him for 7 years and I never got to the <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> stage, the furthest I got was Clomid which didn’t work.

I’ve been trying with my husband for 3 years, they insisted we do Clomid again (why?!), then letrozole before they FINALLY let us go for <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a>.

My fresh transfer failed and I am currently bleeding, meaning that my frozen transfer of our only two remaining embryos has also failed.

I want to give up.

Seriously, if I hear 1 more insensitive, ungrateful cow complaining about how sick she is of being pregnant or telling me I’m lucky I don’t have kids, someone is going to get slapped!

All my friends at work are telling me not to give up and I know my husband doesn’t want me to but they haven’t been going through all this crap for 10 years!

What do I have to be hopeful for next?! The last resort - ovarian drilling to destroy parts of my non-working ovaries or wait ANOTHER 2 years to save up 15k to try <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> again abroad. Like it’ll work anyway...

Why can’t I do the one damned f@&king; thing everything else female on the sodding planet seems to be able to do at the drop of a hat?! And when people use abortions as contraception, abuse or abandon their kids. Wtf have I done to deserve this?!

Even when I’m given the chance (fresh/ frozen embryos), the lab guys can keep them alive in a dish. A dish! - give them to me and they just f£&king; die!

Sitting here in tears trying not to wake up my husband. I just needed somewhere to write this down.

Sorry