I just don't know. I have felt my entire life that's somethings never been completely right. In middle school, 6th grade, I called myself bisexual. For that whole year I thought and felt I was bisexual. I had a crush on 3 girls that year and stayed liking 1 of them in the years to come. (Casually going to their facebook to see what they were up to) Then I switched schools and found myself changing my mind to being strictly straight, or at least thinking I was. I remember talking about it a few times at that school but it was not something actively accepted there though it was advertised as such. I found myself soon realising, I could never shake the feeling of something not being right. Don't get me wrong I have lived a far from perfect life and this has always been a "back burner issue" unfortunately. Something going on in my family always being more important, I learned early on to cast aside any problems I had and try and take over the problems of others. (Haha, writing this out has helped me more than anything before.) I never dated any guys, while I've been asked but never knew why I never went through with dating any of them. The only actual relationship I've been in, sad, but was in 5th grade with a guy that I wore the pants all the time with. (Got jumped once and I fought back while he just took it. (We would kiss and I would feel nothing (We kissed after that event, it just starting to rain, all romantic right?Should've been, as I was reassuring him and letting him cry on my shoulder about what happened then going in for a kiss but all I could feel was how chapped his lips were))) Anyways, I switched back to the old school system I was in, in Sophmore year. Having no friends but old ones that barely know me from 6th grade. Friendships already established, I had no one. I met one guy in particular who developed a crush on me and I could tell he did. I felt I just toyed with him. Using him only for his friendship. I feel like such a bitch thinking back on it but I did know I felt something or that's what I should've felt. Just not enough to go for it. With guys who liked and showed interest in me, I felt somewhat of an attraction but nothing ever mind blowing like with the guy. (Sophmore year) I was however, attracted to a multitude of my male older teachers and one woman teacher at my high school.(Male teachers ranged from 8th grade to 12th grade, different guys and the one female teacher 10th grade to present (Only one I still like to date)) Like I said, far from perfect haha. FYI: I've had sex with a guy before, once, it was a bad experience to say the least as I was more pressured into it but it was still consensual but bad nontheless. A few months ago, still not completely sure why I gave myself away just like that but putting it out there. So, what y'all think about how fucked up I am. Haha :) Btw I'm 18 now and 19 in 2 months. (Decided to not go private with this so people can match a face to a story and I'm tired of living behind secrecy. If you have a similarish story you know that this story has a face as yours does.)