I walked into my living room and my son opened a bottle of lotion and spilled it everywhere on the table and the carpet and him and his sister were playing in it.. all in the 30 seconds it took me to go pee.. we had been having a bad day already so I freaked out and screamed in his face really loud, so loud I scared myself, and then I put him in time out and he got up and ran away so I spanked him really hard and now he won't come near me and he keeps telling and crying "mommy you spanked me" and I can't stop crying and I feel like the worst mother in the world and I also forgot to take my medicine 2 days in a row so my emotionals are all out of wack and I just don't know what to do.. I feel like he hates me now and he's traumatized and scared of me and I can't stop crying