I had an unplanned pregnancy quickly after marriage. We were foolish. I kept the baby. Pregnancy was a nightmare and I had never experienced such an intense depression. Delivery was traumatic. Now at close to 1 year he is my world and I'm so glad for him. I had decided no more babies. I got pregnant again recently after taking a plan b pill. I feel like all the joy out of being my son's mom has been sucked out. All I can imagine is having two small babies and never sleeping and never experiencing what it's like to enjoy life and be young. Out in public mom's with multiple kids just look so sad and worn out to me. I feel like im losing it. I never wanted 1 kid and now being an idiot I'm expecting a second. I can't decide what to do with this pregnancy. Every day I feel like I sink more into acceptance but depression. There is no part of me that is ready or wants this next baby, but the fear of regretting abortion is so real. I also fear keeping the baby and just the process ruining the last bit of happiness I have had left. My husband wants me to be happy in the end so it's mostly my decision, but I fully know he wants another baby. No one in my life has been helpful like they said they would when I was pregnant with my son. My mom in law turned into a monster in law. My parents barely ever visited. My siblings never cared to hold him. I can't do this. I guess I'm not really asking a question I just needed to vent 😞