I'm Gonna be okay

I was in a relationship for 4 years. It all started when I was in the 8th grade, and I met this boy a grade above me. We talked off and on a and eventually we had a thing. That boy and me both had low self esteem. I was so happy... or so I thought. We started so young and we were so inlove with the thought of being inlove. He began to pressure me into sex but then later I enjoyed it. I pushed him to Graduate High school. A little while later Beach grad came. He cheated, and I believed everyone over him. Thought nothing of it. But soon enough more and more rumors began to circulate about him being with different girls and women. Eventually I caught him texting another girl and forgave him and thought nothing of it. Now two wrongs don't make a right... I cheated as well. I felt horrible, disgusting, I wasn't happy with myself after that..The boy told me I was beautiful and I didn't deserve my boyfriend, but he played mind games with me. Eventually my boyfriend came clean to me about 1 girl, but once I came clean, he told me about 5 other females... my heart couldn't take it anymore. I ended things, he sent me long paragraphs about hating me and loving me, threats, comments telling me I'm worthless. I blocked him on everything, every now and then I think about him and the memories. He was my first love, my first kiss, my first time (he lied to me and told me I was his first.. but I wasn't) ... we went to prom, trips. Girls please don't rush into anything too soon. And never settle for less. You're worth before anyone else's.