I have always had a "live with no regrets" type of attitude but I can't seem to shake the regret I feel from having an abortion. I have a now, wonderful 3.5 year old but I got pregnant VERY shortly after. (I don't recommend breastfeeding fot birth control although my doctor told me I'd have a very low rate of pregnancy exclusively breastfeeding) At the time I made the decision, her father and I were in rocky relationship.. This was something I thought I'd NEVER consider and my mother kept reminding me that I was 20 with a 6 month old, my baby's father wasn't going to change, and that people would talk about me if I kept my child. I honestly wish that she'd said something different when I walked out of that clinic before the procedure. I was hoping that she would try to change my mind. I went ahead with the procedure. To fast forward, I'm no longer with my daughter's father and happily married. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for going on 2 years. Every month my AF comes I feel more and more like crap. My experience was a horrible one. Something I wouldnt wish on my worse enemy. I guess what I'm trying to ask is how if ever do I get over this feeling? I want so badly for my child to have a sibling and I feel like i cheated her of that a long time ago because of my fears. How do I forgive myself? My husband knows about my abortion and is a wonderful man. He always tries to make me feel better and tries to convince me that just because we haven't been able to conceive doesn't mean it's karma. I can't help but feel that way. :(