Can your boyfriend spend the night at somebody else house?

Question

we been living together since May 2017..so right after I had our son he randomly started to wanting to spend the night at his cousin house..he says he be needing to relax 😒..shes a female btw with a toddler herself...i have a 4yrd old by someone else n we had our son n last year..so he be wanting to leave our apartment to stay the night at his cousin house n he sees nothing wrong with that so im like okay..fast forward to Nov.we got into one night because I just started back working n didnt get paid yet n I have to take my son to my sister's.daughter to school.him to work both jobs n his class and he had the nerve to spend his last money on weed n a game instead of gas money 😒😒..so I cussed at him ONCE n he was like he needed to go stay at a coworker house for a couple days(end up being a week) so he could get to n from work.mind you he only been on that new job a week so he chose a strnager house then to try and figure things out like an adult..so okay..n I tell him my life not a revolving door someone who talks marriage just doesn't up n leave his home n come bavk when he feel like it so i told him next time take everything ✌anywho fas t forward Jan...ive been suggesting counseling for months since he always talking marriage but he use to walk around like he wasnt happy.always snapping about small stuff..still wanting to randomly spend the night at his cousins..n still lying about stupid stuff..so he goes to his cousins ..calls me n says hes waiting for dinner n hes gonna leave after he eat..texts me he done eating...a hour n a half text me sayi ng he fell asleep..now he's done   dirt n the past n ive chosen to stay m forgive him n main reason I sugg est.  coun seling to heal wounds because he do esnt help with the lying n calling me insecure when he does stuff like  spending the night away n stuf f..so we get into it cuz I have an attitude when he finally gets home..he ask do I want  space..i said yeah so he says hes going to his cousin house for a few days so I responded okay well take all your things with you..fast forward we break up get  back together ...n now he doesn't want to move back so I'm like cool I'm fine with that fast forward from late January to this week..hes been over numerous days but keeps going back to his cousin   house n yesterday I noticed he has a stack of like work shirts draws n  clothes on his back seat ..now why would you have a stack of dirt clothes in your car if you supposedly left where you live the night before😒so when I come back in the house I ask him he says oh thats dirty clothes so im like why you got dirty clothes in your car if you just left the place you live last night he goes all my stuff is in my car 😒😒mind you I always tell him he can move back since we've gotten back togrther but he continues to say he doesn't wanna move back in but just confirmed yesterday he doesn't live with his cousin either basically so at this point im like wth idek what to think n he thinks it's completely normal for us to live separately after living together almost a year..even if he moves bavk in he's just gonna continue to wamma spend the night at his cousins 😒😒
****UPDATE...thanx so much ladies n I just got proof he been spending the night at another girl house instead of his cousins so yeah ✌✌single again 💞😘😘

Answer

not normal at all

Answer

If you live with someone and have a child together, it is your responsibility as a parent and partner to be home to help or in the event of an accident. I understand spending the night out of convenience if they have a night out, but those nights ought to be rare.

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It seems like you guys need to have a frank discussion about your 3 overlapping but ultimately different relationships (1) your romantic relationship; (2) your domestic relationship; and (3) your co-parental relationship.  It sounds like he is overwhelmed with your domestic relationship right now (rightly or wrongly) and he is escaping to his cousin’s house. Can you take a step back and gauge whether or not his feelings are reasonable? Not compared to what you’re doing (it isn’t a contest), but just independently— is he working all the time? is the baby screaming all the time?is he doing tons of housework (or is he expected to be doing tons of housework)? are you both too busy for housework so the house is a mess? Do you guys have time for rest within the house or is it all work or kids and no downtime (or do you expect that)? Do you have two cars so that each of you can do what you need to do or are you dependent on each other or others?  What about your romantic relationship? Are you guys kind to each other frequently? Does he nurture you and you nurture him, or is it all kids all the time? Are you affectionate outside or bed? Inside of bed? Do you laugh frequently? Do you enjoy each other’s company most of the time; or do you spend most of he time you spend together nagging each other or complaining about each other’s behavior? Do you really listen when he take? Does he really listen when you talk? 
Honestly, your relationships seems broken and you guys need to take a step back and figure out if they are, and what you both can do to fix them.  This doesn’t sound as simple as “he just needs to sleep at home and stop running away”— though that likely needs to happen too.  It seems like you guys need to rethink your transportation options, your finances, your work schedules, the way you relate to each other and the way you communicate.

Answer

Sounds like this is much more than him wanting to spend the night at someone's house. The relationship is failing to the point you two are basically separated. You need to figure out where the relationship is going. If he's not willing to stay the night with you anymore then end it.

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not normal. yall have a family. do you go off and sleep somewhere else without your kids to "relax"?

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Not normal or okay. BUT I would try to sit down and talk things out maybe he really is stressed out and such. Even then though leaving your own home and family over being stressed is really unhealthy. See if you guys can’t work something out and maybe develop healthier ways to deal with whatever issues there may be

Answer

Fishy ...

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If I was his “cousin” I’d be super annoyed and ask him “don’t you have a family to be with?” , that’s not normal and a relationship shouldn’t be done like that. Kinda suspicious what he’s doing.

Answer

How old are y'all?

Can your boyfriend spend the night at somebody else house?

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