As of Sunday morning, I thought I was 11 weeks+5 days pregnant. I started spotting that gradually got heavier during the day. When I saw a small clot, I knew that I needed to go in to the ER. We found out that the baby had stopped growing about 4 weeks earlier, and my body was just delayed in processing the loss.

The next day, I called my OB/GYN, and they had me come in to discuss my options. I had started cramping and bleeding more heavily that morning. Right before we left the house I saw the baby in the toilet, which nothing could have prepared me for. I made my DH rescue it... I couldn't just flush my baby. I called the OB again to ask what to do, and the nurse recommended bringing it in to the appointment. She also scheduled a new ultrasound to see how much tissue had passed.

The ride to the doctor's office felt long, and the cramps became very painful. By the time I got there, I was bleeding heavily, and my OB scheduled a D&C right away. Thankfully the surgery went fine, and physically I am feeling much better. My heart still really hurts though. I'm trying to focus on my 3 kids and just mentally process everything that has happened.

It seems like my whole life has been flipped upside down in the space of a few days.