Turns out, las night I started bleeding out of nowhere and with a bunch of blood clots...

Today my baby was supposed to be 10weeks, so I went to the obgyn to get a checkup and in the sonogram there was nothing. No residue or sign of my baby.

I'm completely heartbroken, I haven't even told my parents yet. I was going to tell them on Friday, but what should I say now? Should I even say something about my miscarriage?

I can't even look or talk to my boyfriend. I mean, what the hell! I just lost my baby!

All I want is to cry my eyes out and scream.

Update 1:

I told my parents yesterday, they were both very supportive and obviously sad. They gave me great advice and it's sad this had to happen for my mom and me to make a better connection. She's always been a bit closed about her feelings and how awful her childhood was with her abusive and alcoholic parents. I'm a little happy about her being open with me, but still I try to hide my pain...

I'm just wondering, how is it so painful to mourn someone I never even got to see? To touch? To smell? How is this the most painful thing I've had to dealt with? When I never got to meet him/her? How am I supposed to get over someone I loved so much in so little time? I feel like a terrible person because when ever I see a pregnant lady I'm happy for her, but at the same time I wonder "Why does she get to have her baby and I don't?" I've never felt this, it's terrible and even tho I have so much support from my closest friends/family I feel so lonely...

Update 2:

So I was 10 weeks, almost got to my third trimester... I took a break off from everything for a long weekend, social media included. Went on a trip with my boyfriend and our 4yo boy, we wanted to get our mind off of this and just try to relax for a while. We ended up having a great time, I barely cried which is good since I haven't stopped crying my eyes out in a little over 2 weeks. I talked with a few close family members and that's helped me feel better about it. I usually have my hair done when changes happen in my life, get piercings or tattoos so I'm definitely gonna have one or two done to help me heal. Thanks for the support you guys!! ❤️

Wondering

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey