My in-laws are suuuuuuper crunchy...they do home births, they're really into essential oils and other alternative medicines & supplements, and they treat babywearing like a religion. Now, I'm not against everything crunchy. I do use EOs here and there but I'd NEVER ingest them. I do draw the line against home births...not taking that risk. And as for the baby wearing, I'm totally OK with it....AFTER my baby is able to hold her head up on her own. They got us an amazing Tula baby carrier for Christmas and I love it but they keep going on about how I can put the baby in it from birth and my sister-in-law and mother-in-law keep talking about how they can't wait to wear her. Which, again, I'm fine with but only once she has developed her neck muscles.

So, my question.. How do I tell them nicely that as excited as they are to "wear" the baby, and as great as the carrier they got us is, I'm just not comfortable having anyone wear her until she's a few months old? I don't want to be rude because I do respect their individual beliefs on the matter and I know my SIL has worn her baby since she was born and keeps advising I buy a ring sling since she loved hers. I just know they're going to tell me about how it's safe if you wear them a certain way and follow the guidelines. But I've researched safe babywearing and I'm still not comfortable with it unless she has some level of head control. Because the thing is, even if you're following all the babywearing rules, it only takes a minute or two of not looking at the baby and her being in a bad position and she can suffocate...it can happen SO fast and I'm just not risking it.

So how would you go about this sort of conversation? I don't want to hurt their feelings but I also have to establish the fact that I'm going to parent my way and I do expect them to respect my wishes if/when they babysit also.