Should I surprise him or not?

Question

My SO and I are trying for baby. We had a miscarriage in December and he keeps changing his mind about wanting to try again because it was his 2nd miscarriage ( he tried with an ex and I have a child with my ex husband). I want to surprise him if we are pregnant this month but Im afraid he wont like it. He has already said he doesnt want to know anything about my pregnancy when it happens until Im passed the "danger" zone.

Answer

He needs to be there for you. If he is saying he doesn’t want to know anything until you’re out of the danger zone, I do not think he’s ready yet.

Answer

how would he not figure it out that you are pregnant? e.g. as soon as I stop drinking people will know I am pregnant. keeping a secret up to 12 weeks pregnant puts way to much pressure on you alone. sorry for being blunt but I think he needs to man up and take some responsibility and support you in this journey.

Answer

I get being nervous about the thought of a repeat miscarriage, but to not have anything to do with it until the first trimester ends? Uhm, no. That’s when you’ll likely feel the worst and want support. 
I get being scared, but to me, there is no “out of the woods” anything could happen at any point in pregnancy. Just take it day by day and enjoy it! :) 
Good luck!

Answer

I had 3 miscarriages before this pregnancy and my Boyfriend was the same way he didn’t really want to know anything and never went to any doctors appointments with me in the beginning until I was about 16 weeks.I didn’t surprise him either as I didn’t want him to get disappointed again if I lost the forth one but so far so good I’m 22 weeks 4 days today! And he couldn’t be more excited!

Answer

Ugh! Sounds like my bf. Your supposed to be in this together right?! Totally different mind set.

Answer

My hubs was like this. When I got pregnant again, I showed him the tests and he just looked at me and said “again?” And that was it. I was heartbroken. I had a dr apt a few days after that. They took blood and I went back 2x after that to make sure my levels were rising. Which they were....and after the 3rd blood draw I laid all the information and results out to him. Still was skeptical and didn’t show much of anything. He didn’t ask about how I was feeling or even want to talk about being pregnant. It didn’t fully hit him and sink in until our first apt at 8 weeks when we had a dating scan and actually saw the baby and it’s heartbeat. After that, he was so excited and relieved.

Should I surprise him or not?

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