Please, I understand this is going to sound horrible but it’s something I need to get off my chest. It’s been eating me alive. I hated my pregnancy. It was hell, I felt like hell. People kept ruining everything good for me. My husband and I tried for so long and when I found out I didn’t think I was really ready. Once in labor I was depressed and dreading it the whole time. I couldn’t even enjoy it, I was miserable and didn’t want to have a baby. Once it was time to push, I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to be a mother. The second they put her on my chest I balled and was in love but I feel like hell for feeling like that before. She’s the love of my life.