I was scheduled for a c-section at 39 weeks because baby seemed to be measuring big. We were due to have that today, March 2. Greyson had a different plan. My water broke Feb 28, 8:30pm. Wasn’t sure at first —thought I peed myself. But then at 9:30pm it happened again and I was on my way to L&D.;

Contractions weren’t painful til 2am. I was in so much pain because I tried to tough it out but I needed that epidural. So I got one. Best choice I made. By 8:30am I went from 3cm to 9, and at 9:30am, March 1... we were ready. But Greyson was not...

Here’s where it gets graphic, painful, traumatic, and horrible.

I pushed ladies. I pushed so hard. But his big head was not coming out. I pushed for two hours and then all of a sudden 12, yes 12, nurses and doctors swarmed the room. I have 3 doctors at my vagina and everyone else scattered around the room, one at my head telling me it’s going to be ok. Next thing I see, my husband is bawling, my mom is freaking out, and I have 4 large forceps in my vagina. The doctor stuck her entire arm up my vagina to turn baby’s face down, which ladies, was the worst pain and experience.

So then they tell me to push. They have the vac on his head AND IT POPS OFF. THE SOUND WAS ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING and I freaked the fuck out. It sounded like his head popped off instead of the vac. Then she puts her whole arm in me again to reposition him. I screamed in pain. The epidural was wearing off and it was too late to do more.

So they had to cut me. And I mean, bad. I have over 30 stitches and then one very long stitch from my vagina to my anus which was slit completely open.

So they tell me to push. Again, the vac pops off. They said if it happened again I’d need to go for the emergency c-section. At this point I’m in so much pain, I’m about to throw up. My husband is holding my leg bawling, and now more docs come in.

Finally she said push again.. and she puts her leg ON the bed and fucking pulls him out of me. It was a BLOODBATH. There were puddles. Drops had landed 5-10 feet away in all directions.

It was horrible. My mother in law and mom are still not ok from the experience. My poor husband was such a trooper but I’ve never seen him so scared before.

Baby was 9lb 6oz with a bigger head. He’s a beaut, healthy, and hitting his milestones for newborn life.

But I did it. I pushed him out .. but I’m traumatized from this. My pain is a solid 10/10. He is worth every single stitch, tear, and drop of blood.

Welcome to the world, Greyson Lee.

Update: thank you all for your kind words. We all are so strong for however we decide to give birth. We are both doing really well. I am healing up nicely and Greyson just keeps on eating, pooping, sleeping and repeating!! We get to go home late morning today!!