I'm a so absolutely grateful for this pregnancy. I already have two daughters (4 years and nearly 2 years old). When my younger daughter turned 7 months, I found out I was pregnant after only just trying to concieve. We decided midway through that cycle to start, so I didn't expect falling pregnant that month. I was so excited, just to be completely shattered 10days later, when I had a miscarriage. I think I suffered more than my husband did, because it was just a little more real for me than it was for him. But it took us another 7 months to fall pregnant again even though I conceived my other two girls in the second month of ttc. I thought something was wrong with me, but I guess my body just needed the time to heal. Anyway, I'm now only 24 days away from meeting my precious little rainbow via repeat cesarean. I can not wait to see her face and hold her in my arm. I'm so excited but also still so scared that something might happen during the c-section. I'm trying not to get to excited, I haven't put anything for baby up yet (had the changing table still in use and the cot is still next to my bed unused from my toddler) but no other things. I packed a hospital bag and put it to the side, so I don't have to look at any baby things, because I don't want to get to attached in case I'm coming home empty handed. I don't even have a bond to this baby yet and I feel kinda crap about it, because I had a bond with my other two kids during the pregnancy and it still took me a few days to form a proper bond with my first after she was born. I guess I'm just hoping that this time will be more like my second baby, that I'll have a bond straight away and that everything will be fine in the end. Being pregnant with a rainbow is scary and stressful! I can't believe how naive and ignorant I've been in my previous pregnancies. So glad I have two healthy children and hopefully a third in a little over 3 weeks xx