I've never been more emotional. My living son is about to be 10. I've been wanting another baby so bad and 4 months when that blood work came back positive I couldn't believe it happened after so many years. 2 weeks later the doctor told the babies levels were dropping and to prepare for a miscarriage. I got on my knees and begged God not to take my baby. To please stop this from happening. I woke up from my nap and there was blood. 💔 These past 4 months have been so hard. So emotional. So many unanswered questions. So many why's? We've been trying again ever since. I'm 20 Dpo and 7 days late. I got a faint positive yesterday. Followed by blood work today which was negative. My heart broke once again. But today. I choose to make a decision to smile to know that God is in control no matter what happens. I will NEVER understand why i lost my baby. But I can choose to give my living son the best life he deserves. God allowed me to have him.To love him. One day he will be blessed with another sibling.