Last November we had our last mc before this pregnancy. Four other times in 2017 we lost our babes. Each time I kept asking God what I did wrong and how could this happen to me, to any mom out there. When we learned we were expecting again I burst into tears because I kept thinking "How long before I lose you too?" I felt soo ashamed and guilty that I would just hurt my unborn baby again. We weren't excited but heavy hearted. I never made it past 8 weeks in pregnancy. I cried everyday and kept beating myself to a pulp. I am now 13 weeks and have seen my baby's heartbeat as well as their beautiful outline. I was in shock and couldn't believe when the doctor said "Baby looks perfect." I became excited but not too excited. I still had fear circling my mind not to become to attached. It wasn't until a good friend of mine painted this rainbow bouquet of flowers as a reminder that God gave a rainbow after a devastating storm. Each red rose symbolizing a baby that was called back home. Each one of our babies will always be remembered and always loved. To you my fellow Rainbows, I also would like to dedicate this to you. For the strengh and courage it takes to endure and keep going. You as a community have strengthened me and enlightened me when I needed it most, and still do. You are not alone, you are thought of, thank you for sharing and being a part of this rainbow community. Hugs.