Husband thinks kids come last. 

My 20 year old daughter texted me and said my husband, step father to 5 of m children, posted and article on his Facebook that parents need to put the spouse first and went on to say that it's a lost art that spouses don't put each other first and that the kids never should be put first and the household should be like a CEO type of thing. I never even saw the post before he ends up blocking me, my daughter and her husband from Facebook. We've had some Rocky times since he returned from "deployment" (this is one where he stayed at the Hilton Inn, not like his Afghanistan deployment)  but this is so out of the blue extreme that I'm confused. My daughter had made a post, after reading his, stating that with the child she carries now, she and her husband both know that sacrifices will come and that in some aspects, yes the child will need to come first as they cannot survive without parents for the first years. So I don't know if he blocked us because of her post or what,  or thinks I was in on it. I can say that he definitely broke a relationship with my daughter and has hurt her immensely because he's really the only guy that stepped up to be a dad to her and now has shut her out. This is guy she chose to walk her down the aisle just 5 months ago and now she  understandably whole heartedly  regrets it. 

When my husband met me I was a single mom to 5 kids, working full time, and going to school full time. I had no friends or family that I relied on. Just myself and daycare and not the father either. Before I even  agreed on a date with him I flat out let him know my kids have to come first. They  have no one else to step in if something happened to me. He said he 100% understood because his mom was a single parent for a while then he got an amazing step father. My kids used to think my husband was the amazing step father that stepped up when no one else would. It's been 7 years we've been together and now (5years married) but in the span of a year, mostly the last 6 months, he's not only trampled on their trust and reliability in him, but also mine. We also have a child together, an angel and I'm 17 weeks with our 3rd baby together. I don't undermine him, I don't trample on him, I don't take my kids words over his etc. The only thing I can think of that upset him is yesterday my oldest son turned 16. I put up a simple happy birthday banner, then as he was home home for his brief 25 minutes between pig show responsibility and basketball, he opened his presents and we had a little ice cream. I called my husband out of his room 3x saying we are doing the birthday now, but he never came out. My husband was mad that 3 weeks ago no one directly said happy birthday to him, and the group happy birthday was an insult. But he'd even told our son in law directly that he didn't want a fuss made of his birthday when we went to dinner and to treat it like a normal day. So I don't know if he got jealous of my 16 year olds recognition last night or what. 

I've been sleeping on the couch for a while now for different reasons from our daughter's co-sleeping keeping him awake, then her tonsil surgery kept her crying at night, then I transitioned her successfully to her own bed only to need me a in her room a few more nights because of a severe concussion, then my husband discovered the parasite he got on his deployment was back so we stayed clear... So being on the couch last night wasn't directly because of last night... But saying goodnight to everyone else and slamming his door shut was not normal. I'm a shy, hate conflict /confrontation and easily intimidated person so now I'm just in hiding mode from him. But now because he's doing things he's never ever done before... My mind is wandering to "is he going to kick us all out because he's so unhappy, and clearly stated kids don't come first?" I've never in our 7 years thought we'd ever be temporary, but the last month I feel like I don't know who he is anymore and that he very well may kick us out. Which then in turn makes me feel like in certain situations, it's justified to put your kids first... When all they have is you in the end.

To clarify my belief... It's God, spouse, kids. But get muddled and unclear when the spouse bails on you and the kids, like now.