I need to express

Ok so lately I have been slowly steeping into a depression. I usually feel like this around this time of year due to the weather and school gets rough. I kinda just feel myself pushing it aside and forcing myself to feel better but I just feel blah. I don’t talk to people in school bc I don’t have classes with any friends and I feel like I’m falling behind on the social curb. I haven’t even had a first boyfriend or even kiss yet and I’m trying really hard to focus on school but, lately, all I want to do is lay in my bed. Doing anything sounds boring... idk I guess You can categorize me as a “normal” teen but I feel really alone. I really want like a friend or somebody in school. I also struggle with the way I look, especially my weight. I’ve recently Lost like 50 lbs but I just keep pun pointing every thing wrong with myself. At the same time I have really high self esteem, if that makes sense. Idk.