Am I being rude?
I met my friend T back in high school. We were both incoming juniors attending a summer program for JROTC. We went to different high schools but were in the same JROTC branch, and met during our swim training. We were in the same group. My best friend had told me about him before (I didn’t know who he was until he told me his name, though), and she had a crush on him. He had a gf at the time. I never liked him, nor have we ever had a flirtatious relationship. This was back in 2012. We are now 21 (me) and 23 (him). He joined the marines soon after we graduated and was stationed across the country back at the end of 2015, which was the last time I saw him. We have mutual friends aside from my best friend as well.
My boyfriend and I have been together for a bit over a year now. He gets upset when he sees us talking (over snapchat). Bf and I met in late 2016, so T and I have been friends long before. T knows about my boyfriend, and respects that, and we do talk about our own personal relationships issues with each other as we are friends on that level. T and I have a snapchat streak of about 80 days, though we don’t “talk” every day, and normally just send random/streak snaps to keep the streak going. I have a long-term streak with other guy friends, as well as female friends, and my boyfriend is always most bothered by T.
I think this is because of some of our history (Bf and I). In the beginning of our relationship, we had some issues regarding two of his female friends from his department. He “microcheated”; kept me a secret from them, still liked them, and tried to get with one, all while we were together. He doesn’t talk to them anymore, and I gave him an ultimatum: me, or them. So he dropped them. They are the only people I asked him to stop talking to. I did not force him to, despite giving him an ultimatum.
I have never done anything like that to him. Never kept him a secret from anyone or hid anything from him, and that includes communicating with T. He knows we have a snapchat streak and he knows what we talk about. It seems that he is starting to become insecure because of what HE did to me, not because of what I did to him. T is also a “buff, sexy Asian guy”, which bf thinks is my type (I don’t have a type), which seems like feelings of inferiority and insecurity of appearance...idk.
I keep my distance with T because I know it makes my boyfriend uncomfortable. Despite the discomfort, I am not going to drop a friend that does not pose as a threat to my relationship. T is nothing BUT a friend—T and I BOTH know that.
T invited me to a party he is throwing when he comes back home this summer. I sent the invite to my Bf and asked him if he would come, which T said he was cool with. They’ve never met before.
Am I wrong? Am I being rude?