Super down?...

So I was due for AF 7/6, this entire week me and DH were on vacation with my family and he was so super sweet not wanting me to lift anything heavy or stay on my feet too long.  He was so excited that I was gonna test that he begged me to test a day before AF.  I was hesitant cause it seems as if every time we get an hpt my hopes are high until I get that BFN.  I figured what the heck so I go to take the test but felt that unsettling feeling when your not wanting AF to appear and I was right.  I put my hpt away (no point in wasting a good test right) put in a tampon only to go and wallow in my own disappointment.  I don't like this feeling, actually I hate it!  I avoided pregnancy like the plague before but now that I want it sooo badly it just doesn't seem like its going to happen.  We've only been at it a few months but that feeling is sooo horrible I'm hoping that it happens for us soon.... Sorry for the rant just really needed to get it off my chest..