Ok I really need to vent. My husband and I have been TTC #1 for a year, we had a chemical in December but that's it. I'm just emotionally raw, we are only 25 everyone around us is getting pregnant. I work in a medical lab and I keep seeing teen pregnancies and I'm just so frustrated. I am handling ok but when someone says "it will happen" "just relax" "people try for years and then suddenly boom they get a miracle, you will get yours too..." I just want to scream "no please stop, it might not happen for me, and that's ok..." but they are so oblivious I can't make them see they are just tearing me down. I have recently accepted that my choices have consequences. When I was young I made the choice to cash in my miracle card, you see I am one of those people that believes you are born with a limited number of MIRACLES in your lifetime. I cashed mine in praying that my mom would walk again when I was 5, I cashed in another praying my older brother would be ok when he was found unresponsive and not breathing when I was 8, a third when I prayed for my dad would survive his lung cancer when I was 10. I prayed I would be ok when I had an abnormal PAP and under went LEEP, and I was. I prayed my bone marrow recipient got more time with his family and he did. All of these MIRACLES happened for me. Now it's time for me to accept I may have hit my limit. The leep procedure may have done damage, the experimental drug I took to raise my white count high enough to donate marrow may have affected my fertility, I may have just been born without a happy normal uterus that is loving and welcoming of fertilized eggs. Regardless I don't believe I have the right to beg for another miracle when I have been granted so many, so I can't stand to hear people saying it will happen miracle babies come all the time. It just hurts. I can't adopt or foster because I live in a 2bedroom 1 bathroom and apparently that's not good enough. So basically kids might not be in the picture for me and my husband anytime soon like at least 8 years so we can payoff our student loans and get into a bigger place. So basically I'm at the point where someone says it will happen I just want to scream FUCK OFF...because it might not.