Look, i never thought that this would ever happen. I never thought i was capable of falling in love or being happy. Over the last couple of months, i took you for granted and i take all the blame for it. you might not think that my depression ruined our relationship but i do. i know that i’m hard on myself for reasons you might think are silly but if i could go back in time and find ways to deal with depression, i would. breaking up with you was the hardest thing i’ve ever had to deal with and it’s one of the worst decisions that i’ve ever made. i can’t go back to you because i know you won’t be happy with me and i always feel like i’m a burden with everyone that i meet, especially with you. I know you said that you could handle me but i knew that deep down that you couldn’t and i put all blame on me for our breakup. you said that during our last month that you had to “get used to the sadness.” i caused that sadness and i wish i would have known sooner because you should never feel unhappy. everyday since saturday i’ve had to put a mask on myself but everyday, i feel like i’m a ghost again. i know that you’ll be happier again someday with someone that’ll always be happy and that’ll make you happy and it’ll crush me even more to pieces because i could never be capable of making you that happy. i’m sorry for everything that i’ve done because even though “i couldn’t control my depression,” i could have made an effort to deal with it and make you happy. i know that things will never be the same, and that you’ll always go to other people about how you’re truly feeling without ever telling me and that fucking hurts. through our relationship i always wanted to know how you felt but you were never expressive, and you never told me. the day after we broke up, you said “this relationship was only for you within the last month.” i didn’t comment much about it but it really fucking stung. i hate that you had to lead me on. i have mixed emotions from our breakup, but one of the main emotions that i’ve felt since, is emptiness. i feel so alone and at this point i’ve thought about suicide so many times because this world doesn’t need me or want me. i don’t wanna feel like a burden to you or to anyone else.