Sanity while TTC

My hubby and I have been TTC for at least 5 years. I have PCOS. In May of 2015, I weighed 250 lbs and he weighed 300 so we decided to make a change for a healthier lifestyle. After 6-9 months, I got down to 167 and he got down to 200. We continued to TTC while at our smallest. Still, no success. I began getting depressed and we started to eat more and gained some weight back. I got up to 200. That's when we decided to get back down to our prior weights. I now weigh 185. My OBGYN put me in birth control last year because I was tired of always having my period. I could never wear dresses or white shorts because I never knew when that bloody bastard was coming! We had some things we needed to fix around the house before a baby was on the way, so in a way the birth control was a two way blessing. Dr. C said, "when you two are ready call my office. " We called in January of 2018. Met with him on January 25th. He told me to quit taking the birth control and try for 3 months and if we don't get pregnant, we have an appointment set for May 25th. It has been a month and a half with no luck in 2 cycles. My periods are still regular but I'm not pregnant. It is so painful not being pregnant after working so hard to lose weight and be healthy. I can't wait to see two lines or have one of my doctors tell me that I am pregnant. I have bought preseed. Didn't work. Now I'm going off what a coworker said with Lydia Pinkham. I even have people overseas in Israel praying on the Wall for me to get pregnant.