This pregnancy has been difficult. its mine and my bfs second child together. with my first pregnancy we were both so young. he wasn't ready to grow up yet. my mom allowed him to move in with us since his parents kicked him out (we were 16 going on 17) while he lived with us, he had a drinking issue that i didnt know about at the time. when hed go to a friends house hed ignore every call or text and come back to my house drunk. he would sneak out while i was asleep to go drink with his friends. I had a high risk pregnancy and got put on bed rest after 29 weeks. anytime I was in pain or needed help he brushed it off. his friends would message me telling me how annoying I was and how I needed to leave him alone and let him do his own thing. when our baby was a few months old we ended up breaking up. he got kicked out of my moms bc he wasnt following any rules. he was always out drinking and hanging out with other girls and I felt like I was in it alone.

we are now 19. we got back together at 18 and I saw a complete change in him. he works full time plus overtime, no longer drinks (he'll have a beer or a mikes lemonade here or there but that's it). hes been paying rent for us and every bill that we have even if its just a credit card bill of mine. however he still doesnt take this pregnancy seriously. i told him I felt like he didnt notice how important some things are or how some things could be serious. he has a huge ego now because hes been working and taking care of responsibilities. and I am proud of him but his ego is ridiculous. any chance he gets he puts me down. he is always yelling at me and when we get into fights he does things to purposely set me off. i have ptsd and bipolar disorder. when I was younger I watched my mom get abused on multiple occasions and something that always throws me into a panic attack is when people hit walls or break things. when I get visibly upset he will punch a wall or a door or throw something and when i start to panic hell go "oh and now you're gonna cry and act like a baby now". ive been in the hospital for 3 days now because I had horrible bavk pains and back to back panic attacks and found out I habe a severe infection in the right kidney and the chills I was havung caused the attacks. I was also being screamed at at home while feeling these pains so it made it all seem a lot worse. now im in the hospital and cant stoo throwing up and I keep going back and forth from fevers to chills and my bf has barely been here. he vame last night and said he was gonna stay the night but left after 2 hours. he was supposed to come back 3 hours ago and hasn't. he called me saying he slept in and all i did was ask if his phone died and he started screaming at me. even when i nicely explain to him that the way he talks to me is too much he doesnt understand. he says I'm being stupid and overreacting and I need to just leave him alone bc hes working and does what he needs to do "as a man" and IM stressing HIM out.

i just wish he'd understand that even though theyre treating my infection my anxiety and panic attacks are never going to to away if I'm constantly being screamed at. I'm almost 26 weeks with our second baby. he doesnt seem to care that it could effect the baby at all... all I do is cry. i dont know what to do. i love him but I hate what his ego has turned him into