This will be quite long so if anyone reads this thank you very much

At the minute my life is pretty messed up , I split up with my boyfriend because I had feelings for someone else , I told the boy I liked him and he said he likes me to but wants to stay single , i sent him nudes because he asked me to and I was fine with it , he kept calling me sexy and babe but earlier he said he just wants to stay friends , I don’t know what to do because I really love him and he does touch my ars . Also recently I have been thinking about self harming again because I feel like everyone hates me and I’ve got nothing left to live for . This is partly because of the boy I like , he hasn’t done anything wrong though . He at time I have a music lesson with him I am going to pretend to faint because he’s in my group , i want to see how he reacts , if anyone has got any advice or anything plz let me know xx