Do you make SO help at night?

Question

Stay at home moms only please!! Do you make your SO help out at night ?

Answer

When he’s off the next day, yes. If he works the next day and I’m staying home, then no. I wake up and tend to baby at night.

Answer

Im breastfeeding so there isnt much point. Once in a while to help change a diaper.
I do, however make him wake up with us in the morning (he is on paternity leave) to help with our older son, and make me coffee while i breastfeed our daughter. He is a very involved parent, as he should be.

Answer

When my husband comes home, he takes care of our son and has been doing so since he was born, after work. I make food  for us while he has him. He also does bath& bed  routine. We started sleep training our son at 3 months so the routine helped us.  
When our son was a baby he would get home and take him so I could shower, and nap until midnight and then he would come in put him in his crib snd I would get up to do he rest of the feedings. 
When my husband said one day that he wish he was me and could stay home and do nothing, I arranged it for him. I made hair appointment, a walk in- mani pedi and went shopping with a friend and I came home to a disaster zone with his clothes full of baby shit on the floor, baby clothes all over with poop, and toys, a curtain that got projectile pooped while he changed his diaper. There were bottles all over the place and with a smirk I asked him what he cooked for dinner and why the house was dirty. From then on he was more cooperative and grateful. I once in a while leave him with our son, especially when I get my hair dyed every few months. Our son is now 2 and it’s 8:31 pm. I am laying in bed with super period cramps and hubby just finished bathing our son and preparing him for bed. Once our son goes to bed we watch movies, spend time together,  or play video games, or I lay down cause I don’t feel well and he unwinds playing diablo3 or overwatch. 
You should express your frustrations and if he doesn’t help ask him why. I had to teach my husband how to do things   Because he was scared he would break our son, he was never near children growing up, or changed a diaper. Sometimes they need to be taught and get confidence.

Answer

I tried making him help, he never does

Answer

On work nights only if I'm desperate (need to use the bathroom, shower, eat), on the weekends we go half and half.

Answer

Honestly my SO offers to be on baby duty at night, but he doesn’t wake up fast enough so I end up with a hysterical baby at 3am. Mo good for anyone. The system that works for us is I cover night time, and depending on how long of a night it is I bring baby to my SO between 5 and 8am, then he’s on duty while I sleep until 9. He works later in the day and early evening, so it suits me!

Answer

Yes. And sometimes he jokingly says he feels like he has two jobs because of it! But yep, that’s being a daddy for ya. He’s a good Dad and does whatever I ask of him really. I’m very grateful. My goal is that we each get a half hour of relax time to ourselves a day because honestly we both need a break after a long day. 
I just saw another post somewhere on here today that said being a SAHM is the equivalent of working 2.5 jobs(!)

Answer

My husband takes her when he gets home from work so I can workout and have some alone time. She usually takes her fourth nap of the day during that time for about 30 mins and then they play until I’m done. Then we usually cook and take care of her jointly for the rest of the evening. She goes to bed at 8. She’s still waking up once a night to nurse most nights, so I obviously handle that. (She’s five months on Thursday and I work mornings but have afternoons off)

Answer

Ok so I should add that even though I’m a SAHM I’m also running a business (it’s only 15 hours a week so it’s not much lol). My husband did in the beginning try to get away with not helping, but after a few weeks of that and feeling like I could choke him in his sleep I had a conversation about how I felt and that basically if I’m going to do this by myself I’d rather not have to look at his face so if he doesn’t want to be a parent he can go because all he’s doing is showing me that I can do this without help. Needless to say he got his shit together pretty quick.
The above sounds so harsh but this was the newborn phase where they wake up every two hours, I was trying to breastfeed/pump as much as possible and on top of that had several hospital stays with baby...I was sleep deprived I don’t remember the first two months because I was doing 90% of the work PLUS working because I only took 2 weeks off after having baby. I feel drained just thinking back on that period!
I felt bad asking for help because he works and stuff, but then I remembered that so do I - being a SAHM is work, plus I have my business to attend to so just because he doesn’t work at home or whatever doesn’t mean he shouldn’t help raise/take care of the child WE created, I have no problem asking for help now. Usually he gets the diaper while I’m making the bottle and we tag team that way, it definitely has made me feel like this is equal and we are working together as a team!

Answer

my husband works 2nd shift so he doesn't get home til 1, 2 or 3 depending on if he works over or not so if he's not home I obviously get up but if he is home I call or text his cell and he gets the kids. And if he doesnt come up from the basement I walk down there with whoever woke up and give them to him and go backup stairs and to bed lol.

Do you make SO help at night?

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