It’ll be a year in May, that I’ve been dating my boyfriend. Now, I’m not the best at spotting 🚫RED FLAGS🛑 so can I ask y’all for help, please?

Beginning: So we finally made it official on May 25th, everything was going great. Except he kept buying me things I didn’t ask for aka spoiling me. I’ve never been a materialistic gal, so I don’t need anything unless it’s necessary. Now, I don’t wanna come off sounding high and almighty, miss independent. But, I’d rather he save his money for other things. Does this make me a horrible gf?

SIDE NOTE: My boyfriend has never been in a relationship, I.E SINGLE TILL HE MET ME... So in his head he feels like this is what every girl wants. Even though I’ve told him many times, NOT ALL FEMALES ARE THE SAME!

Anyways getting on, so I met him on POF. And, we hit it off fabulously, everything was great. Then he hits me with this nuclear bomb. He tells me he lives in a halfway house, due to the fact he’s recovering from being a heroine addict for two years. First 🛑RED FLAG🚫, I know I know. But, I didn’t wanna judge him based off his past, because I didn’t know that person. But, I did sit down and had a serious talking to him.

I stated that if we did get into a relationship, together. There would be some rules that couldn’t be broken and had to be followed. No, long list... He couldn’t 🥃DRINK🍺 & he couldn’t get high, no not weed! 💉HEROINE💉! He agreed to these terms, and everything was fine. Until we both lost or 😔jobs😔 the company I was working for was downsizing so about 25 people were let go. He was working various jobs and the boss kept flaking on him.

Fast forward to December, I was finally able to get a temp job for Fed-Ex. Everything was going good. He was able to pick up some side carpentry work. Now, it was here and there not everyday. So, he’s not big on talking about him feeling. It’s like pulling teeth w/o novocaine🙄. I finally get it out of him, and he tells me he’s been depressed from not working. I get it I deal with depression & anxiety daily. But, I’ve told him just talk to me when he feels that way. Or, family friend even a stranger.

😡He didn’t listen😡

So, on Dec 8th, he’s on his way to get me from work. Cause, he wanted to go get PHO and something about talking about our future. So I’m of course freaking out😳😬. Then he calls me back two minutes later telling me he’s driving and he’s SUPER TIRED from working a 10hr shift. So, I told him if he’s to tired to drive home and get some sleep. He tells me NO! He really wants to see me, cause it’s something important. So I tell him get off the highway, and go to Starbucks and get a quad☕️espresso☕️. He tells me he’ll be fine, I’m like ugh no! Not if you’re falling asleep behind the wheel. Long story short, he crashed into another car and totaled the car.

SIDE NOTE: Forgot to mention the night before. We were coming back from the mall, and I swear I smelled Vodka in the car. Now, when we were in the mall about to leave. I said I was going to Five Guys, cause I was really hungry. He tells me he’s gonna walk around and find something else to eat. I’m like okay, that’s cool, I’ll be at this table over here. So, I get my food sit down and demolish my 🍔 burger🍔.

Finally, I get up and realize, he never came back to the table. So, I start walking to the food stands looking for him. Nowhere to be found🤔🤔🤔. So I call him, thinking maybe he’s just in the bathroom. He didn’t pick up, I called two more times still nothing. So, I then start walking to the car and decide to just wait for him there.

I walk to the parking lot, but I can’t find the car. So I’m like, am I in the wrong lot? I was so sure where we parked, cause I was the one who found the space. But, the car was gone! I’m like why would he leave the mall to get food when we’re in the FOOD COURT! So, now I’m like 🤬SUPER PISSED🤬🤬🤬🤬! I called him 3x and still nothing!!! Now, I’m just done! When I see him pull up in the car. I’m like where’d you go? He says he didn’t wanna eat anything from the food court. Me: You said you didn’t want a burger, and there are like 10 other places you could have chosen from.

And, then it hit me, I was like have you been drinking? Cause, I smelt it! There was no way he could’ve hidden that smell. He lies straight to my face! Then makes up four more lies every time I ask him. 🛑RED FLAG🚫 I know now. We finally get to my place, and I give him a ultimatum. Tell me the truth or we’re over! He tells ANOTHER LIE! Oh forgot to mention I found the bottle of Vodka under the drivers seat. He tells me his boss was driving his car and that was his🙄🙄🙄🙄, LIKE REALLY, DUDE??? So, I tell him again tell me the truth or we’re DONE! HE FINALLY TOLD THE TRUTH👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽. And, then I reminded him about the TWO rules I gave him when we first started dating. And, because he broke one this relationship couldn’t go on. Then he starts looking for his phone all frantically and accusing me of taking it. I’m like I don’t have your phone.

So, I start to walk to my door and I told him to look in his car cause I didn’t have it. 5mins later, he’s banging on my front door like a crazy person. Telling me to give him is phone. Once again I said I didn’t have it and I’d be happy to call it. I called twice and nothing, then I received a call from my mom, informing me he left his phone at their place. He apologized then went to get it. This was around 745pm, after taking a shower, eating and watching some t.v I ended up falling asleep waiting for him to return. I rolled over and it was 12:28am! I’m like WTF! Where is he? It’s only a 45min Drive. So, I gets to calling again no answer, I fall back asleep cause I have to get up at 3:00am, to head to work. Second time waking up it’s 246a, and I’m all like WTF! I get up get dressed and start heading out.

That’s when I see his car in the lot, and I’m all like why is he sleeping in his car? He tells me he got a speeding ticket for going 101mph in a 55 zone! I’m like seriously dude??? I go to work and this is the day of December 8th. Now, he has a totaled car and no job again!

Am, I stupid for still being in this relationship? And, not just cutting ties back in December? I love the guy, but I feel like I’m in over my head. Please help