I have decided to file for divorce. My husband and I have been together for 6 years (long distance. I am from Europe). I came here on a fiance visa 2.5 years ago and I became pregnant quite fast. I felt alone my entire pregnancy. He spent pretty much all his time off behind his computer.

I’ve been a stay at home mom for 18 months and have loved it. I know I have to go find a job and put my son into day care... it breaks my heart but it is what it is.

My husband has PTSD and begged for another chance 6 weeks ago when he knew I was talking to lawyers. I gave him a chance IF he agreed on getting help. He promised he would but still nothing and when I ask him about it he says ”fuck you bitch im not going”.

We have been into marriage counseling last year... I set it up and after 4 times he told me he never wanted to go again and that counseling is stupid. So I dont know why I gave him a chance...

I’ve decided to start college in the fall. Any moms out there that work full time and study? How do you do it and how do you fund it? How/when do you spent time with your child? My husband laughed at me two weeks ago and told me in my face that ill never be succesful. I think that was the point that I felt that I was 100% done. It hurt so much.

I am so scared. He has called me names for years. There has been violence. He has cheated. He takes the car keys/shuts of wifi/shuts of my phone when we argue. He tells me he won’t help me with paying for daycare if I leave him and that he’ll take my son from me. He says I am a waste of oxygen and no men would ever want me. He can call me names for hours and i try to ignore it, but once I get mad and start to yell he starts to record me on video 😢 My name is on none of the bank accounts (he never wanted to put me on it) and the car that we choose together is solely in his name aswell. He says I won’t get a penny if we divorce. I go to counseling now once a week because I have started to believe that I am nothing. I feel so alone, lonely and sad all the time...

I don’t leave my son alone with him anymore because Ive come home several times in the past with my husband sleeping and my son exploring through the entire house! Also, my son was always crying/upset because he wasnt fed, had poopy diapers or was still wearing last nights diaper! His parents know and told me they werent surprised but now that I am filing for divorce I am suddenly lying..?!

I havent had a break in 18 months and my son comes with me everywhere I go.

He doesn’t spent ANY time with my son (only when his parents or co-worker are here) let alone he has never helped me at nights or mornings... not even during the days when he is awake and home... yet he tells me he is going for 50-50 and I am so scared.

When his daughter is here (8 years), I am the one taking care of her while he sleeps until noon - 2 pm and even goes out some of the weekends even though she is here and he only sees her every other weekend.

His parents know because it was the same way when he used to live with them, but now when I am going to file for divorce they side with him and suddenly things arent true or havent happened.

Any advice? I don’t have anyone here and feel so alone... I need to find a job during daycare hours... and comebine that somehow with college. Any words of encouragement?

Ps he has also told me he is going to have me deported and he’ll get my son that way and I have nothing. Im hiring an immigration lawyer aswell... it all hurts so much 😢

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