Am I crazy for wanting my boyfriend stand up to his mother?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over four years. I’m 20 and he’s 19. His parents are controlling and treat us like babies. We can’t sleep in the same bed. We can’t be alone at all. He wants to live with his mom. I think he doesn’t want to stand up to her. I bring up that life is short and we can’t waste our lives waiting for his mom to be okay with us growing up. Am I crazy for wanting him to move out so we can be together and not be treated like babies? Please help! I’m so frustrated. This guy is so amazing and im going to spend the rest of my life with him. Any advice?

Answer

Slow down. You are only 19 and 20.

Answer

My rule of thumb is if you still live with your parents there’s nothing you should be doing in your room that you can’t do in public.
If you want alone time go out in dates and hold hands. Cuddle on their living room couch. You don’t need to be in his room and he doesn’t need to be moving out when not ready. He’s doing the right thing by telling you no

Answer

Please don’t be that girlfriend that causes tension with your boyfriends family. If he doesn’t want to “stand up to his mom” then he doesnt have to, it is not your place.  You guys are still young and there’s nothing wrong with his parents having rules in their own house

Answer

I feel like if you want to sleep with him or be alone with him in his parents home they have 100% right to say that is not allowed, even more so if there are younger siblings in the home and they want you to set a good example. You need to be respectful of their rules even if you dont agree with them. At 26 I wasnt even allowed to sleep with my fiancee in my parents home lol. As far as living together thats really a question of goals, finances, school, etc and if it makes sense for you to live together and we dont really have enough background to help you make that decision.

Answer

You are both very young. My partner is 25 and still lives at home, and a few of his friends do also. My brother is 22 and he also staying at home. He’s still very young and moving out is such a big step, even in a few years time. 
I get you both are ‘adults’ but his mom obviously takes sex seriously (assume this is the reason). I had a friend who’s parents were the same and she ended up pregnant 🤷🏻‍♀️. It sounds like she’s just being overly cautious. Maybe spend time at your home? There’s not to much to you can do unless you had your own place! And there’s also not much you can do if he doesn’t want to do that, you’ve just got to respect his decision.

Answer

as long as he is in her house I don't care if he is 30, he needs to respect her wishes. the alternative is to move out. she's paying the mortgage, her rules

Answer

He shouldn’t “stand up to his mom” unless he is prepared to move out or potentially get kicked out. As long as he plans on living at home, he’s right for wanting to keep the peace. You are still young and it’s not uncommon to live at home. It doesn’t matter if he lives there until he’s 30, as long as he lives there he has to follow their rules.

Answer

Ok so I can totally relate with you and I know how frustrating it was. Me and my ex dated since we were 14 all the way up till we turned 19-20. We broke up recently because like your situation, he didn’t wanna move out, he didn’t wanna get a job, he turned 20 and barleyyyyy got his license. I mean we were allowed to be alone and go out on dates, but his lack of wanting to be in an adult relationship was just annoying. Once he told me he wanted or move out, so I started working crazy over time hours to save up and I was a little frustrated because he wouldn’t look for a job. He ended up breaking up with me because he said I was “Pushing him to do stuff we weren’t ready for.” Ummm what?!?! You told me you wanted to 😂 now Im with someone a little older with a good job, his life together, and he treats me like an adult and so does his family.

Answer

until you guys live under the same roof and paying your own bills, follow the head of the household. would you want your son or daughter to tell you off for this kind of thing? I’m in about the same situation with my boyfriend we’re both the same age as you but we still respect our parents’ rules because neither of us are paying bills. Once you living together independently, that’s a different story.

Answer

your only 19. My bf is 26 and lives at home, I'm 25 and still live at home. I don't mind that he lives at home except his parents do everything for him and treats him like a kid. He has to lie to see me once or twice a week cause they yell at him. He has 2 jobs, pays his own bills, has his own car insurance etc. He just isn't ready to move out yet so he just deals with it

Am I crazy for wanting my boyfriend stand up to his mother?

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