Hi all,

Looking for advice from anyone who's had a baby and has ever financially struggled?

For several years I haven't been able to shake the strong desire to have a child. What stops me from doing this now? I feel terrified that I'm not financially ready, I don't know what "ready" looks like?? (my mom had me at 19) & now that I'm 23 years old I'm coming to realize this feeling hasn't changed whatsoever despite any fluctuations in my bank account.

My fiancé [22M], who I've been with for 5 years now, has recently pointed out to me that with my logic, we'll never be ready, and he wants to be able to spend our last years of our lives in retirement together rather than raising teenagers. Makes sense to me! We both grew up low-middle class and I don't want to trap my family in this stressful cycle. However, we also both have stable jobs and have received our college degrees, which is more education than either of our parents received. Our joint income is around $4,000 a month, but we also both have large monthly college debt payments, car payments, among other expenses. Those are my concerns.

BUT We're baby crazy... I keep coming back to the idea how imperfect our life is and how much I want to change about our house, income, etc before having a child.. But it seems the older I get, the more expensive life naturally tends to become anyway.

Background: I grew up as the oldest of 5 siblings, each of us 3-4 years apart, so my whole life there was always a baby in the house. I've been babysitting/nannying as a side job for many parents for about 11 years, and I'm 23 now. I got my degree to go into a field working with children.

So as you can see, I LOVE kids. I've been a receptionist for 1 year now and have felt every.single.day like part of me is missing because I'm not spending any of my time working with kiddos. Problem is I have a great deal of financial stress, but I also suffer from anxiety and never know where the line between "good/healthy anxiety" and "bad/irrational anxiety" lies. I hope that makes sense?!

I'm hoping to gather some advice and possibly success stories on planned pregnancies as they relate to ones financial situation, as well as warnings or things you wish you knew.

Thanks all!