I don’t know if it’s the hormones that are making me say this or if it’s just how I’ve always felt and now these hormones are not allowing me to hide my feelings anymore...

I love my son I am 25 weeks and he is my world! He’s the only thing I feel like I’ve ever done right and for that I thank God for him. I have a good husband and a decent marriage but it started off rough and I let a lot of things go just because I was so in love and 19 years old. Now I am 24 and I realize there’s a lot I truly don’t like about this man I can’t stand his mother, father and brother. My family life is in shambles as I just found out my mother has been cheating on my dad for years with the same man that beat both of us up years ago... I feel alone, but I also feel like I can’t say anything because I don’t work and my husband takes care of me. I had a good job that I gave up to go back to school but had to give that up and I just chose to graduate early and go back to work. I hate the house we live in I hate the cars we drive because they belong to his parents. I hate not having my own money and job! I hate how we live as we take care of mentally disabled clients out of our home and they are frustrating to deal with because they act like 5 year olds! I stupidly sacrificed everything even my happiness because I was in love and now I regret all of it and I regret feeling this way because I feel ungrateful. Honestly I don’t know how to really process all of this I just needed to get how I truly feel out. Not looking for pity or sorrow I just had to be able to say what I needed to and tell the whole truth. I fucked up and made a huge mistake based on blind emotions and now I’m paying for it and pretending to be happy with a lifestyle I hate and a person I’m very much in love with but I resent him because I’ve given up everything for him only to end up still not happy. Ugh life! I wish I could just have my little baby already because I know he’s about the only thing that can bring me joy and focusing on him would be so much better than having to actually face my true feelings.