Help! Going crazy waiting for AF!

I am in CD35. Usually have a 28-30 day cycle. I am not AF cramping, a tad emotional though no signs of AF otherwise. I had some blood about the size of a dime and clear CM on CD20 and have had creamy white CM for about 4 days. Negative hpt. I am going crazy, trying to stay positive and just say “i am pregnant” over and over again. I want to be so bad. His cycle is so different. But i KNOW i have PCOS and understand it could just be that. But I’ve only had a cycle this long one time.