Recovering Moms- What’s your story?

I’m always looking online for moms in similar situations as my own and usually decide against reaching out due to fear of judgement from the “normal” moms. If you’re an addict tell me about your experiences with addiction and parenting.

I WANT TO HEAR YOUR STORY- your struggles, your pregnancy, your past, your breaking point, anything addiction :)

I had been using heroin, HEAVILY, for about two and a half years. Last year, right around this time, me and my boyfriend found out I was pregnant. I wasn’t excited...I was horrified. He overdosed & that got us kicked out of our apartment. We moved into a new apartment and lasted three months there before getting kicked out for not paying. We had two options; we could each go our separate ways to our parents houses where we would have to get into treatment programs or we could live in the car. Of course we chose to live in the car. We lasted exactly one month. I was six months pregnant and our fear and denial kept me from ever dealing with the situation. The day we finally “surrendered” was the worst day of my life. We woke up with no money, no drugs, no gas in the car. Spent allllll day trying to get money. We finally got my dad to send us money through money gram, so we walked to my boyfriends parents house to steal gas for the car. On the way there I tripped over my pants and fell right in the middle of the road. I put my hands and arms outs to keep myself from landing on my belly and ended up with painful and bloody cuts all over. We finally got the gas; it spilled all over me while I was carrying it. My fresh wounds burned and the smell of gasoline on my clothing made me so sick. Once we got to the car we realized the battery had died. Then walmart wouldn’t let me get the money from my dad with my expired ID. After almost 12 hours of being dope sick,scheming, and one thing after another going wrong I finally called my dad. It was my moms birthday. He drove an hour and a half to us. Bought be a new battery, filled my car with gas, gave me the last $100 he would ever give me for dope. He told me to go do what I needed to not be sick and then both of us were to come straight to his house. We knew we’d have to go to rehab, but we were at our breaking point. We continued to use for about a week before my parents brought us to an intensive outpatient program, where we have stayed for the past six months. My parents didn’t even know I wad pregnant yet. Every day is honestly a struggle. I never thought I’d be a 21 year old heroin addict with a newborn, but here I am. I have an absolutely wonderful father to my child, a beautiful little baby boy, and my will gets stronger every day.