I wish she was dead

I know this is going to sound horrible......I wish my grandmother was dead. not because I want her money. she never took care of herself and now she has a ling list of things wrong with her. the hospital is jist punping more poison into her and she is so stubborn. I live with her to take care of her, but wjenever she has anaccodent she tries to hid it and end up hurting herself or others. she has great grandchildren I would hate for them to go to the batgroom and play with that. I try my best to clean up after her but she doesnt wsnt my help she wants me to leave. she has almost set the house on fire multiple times fell off her bed in tge kitchen and trying to get in and put the sgower. we bought her a shower chair and now she doesnt shower but once a month. we tried to get her a bedside potty she made us take it back. she insists I leave and is always rude to me . it hurts me to see her go from who she was to this I feel like she doenst even care.