So on the weekend my boyfriend and I had some drinks with friends. When we got home we chilled out for a bit but I was in a really good mood. And feeling good about myself and just generally happy.

So I stripped and rode him on the sofa for a bit 😏 and we listened to music and danced around our flat together and sang along a bit. Bear in mind my anxiety makes me a really uptight person. I very very rarely feel confident enough to let go and do these things! Even around only him! I have issues I know 😔 But this night I was just feeling it and had so much fun. 😌

Anyway the next day I was talking to him about it and for one he said he couldn't remember me riding me. Which i was gutted about because I felt sexy and wished he had that memory for his wank bank aha.

But then he also told me he was being good and making sure to think before he spoke all night so as not to ruin my fun. So he was holding back certain thoughts.

Well now I just feel super self conscious and likeI must have looked like a prat! I probably was an awful dancer and can't sing and he just put up with it. I now feel like I embarrassed myself in front of him. While I thought I was sexy he was secretly laughing to himself. 😔

I know he didn't mean it. Hence him not saying anything at the time. But I still feel embarrassed.