This is just a rant, I feel like a petulant child having all these selfish feelings but I can't help it. My BF and I have been ttc for a year now and nothing. I have been doing everything I can, stopped all meds that could be harmful mostly my anxiety meds, with the help of my doctor so it's all good, but some days I feel like I could really use a little help with my dysfunctional brain chemicals. But anyways, my BF still smokes, won't take the fertility vitamins we bought, and I am lucky if I can get him to have sex with me once a week. He is tired he works ALOT, like more than 60 hours a week. So I get it he is tired, but I am 31 and literally every month that goes by I feel like my own personal doomsday clock is getting closer to midnight. I try to stay positive, I try to seduce my guy, get him worked up but he is just exhausted and I am frustrated. I don't know what I'm looking for, I know that I need to just relax, give the guy a break, he really is a good guy. I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. Thank you to anyone who read and was able to make sense of this mess. Have a good day.