Okay so, I began seeing a someone called Ben. I completely met him by accident through friends, I instantly found him attractive but when we hooked up I assumed it was just going to be one of these causal things from what my friends had told me about him “he’s not really the type to get feelings or make any effort to be with a girl it’s just not him”. However, we ended up getting so ridiculously well and my friends were all amazed “I’ve never seen Ben like this with a girl he adores you”, I met his family, he met mine, we all went to his for Christmas and things got really serious. I panicked, I wasn’t really expecting all this to happen and although I really liked him I just didn’t know if a relationship was what I wanted. I told him this and him being the most genuine caring and understanding guy, told me it was completely fine and not to worry although admitted that he would be very upset if I decided I didn’t want him as he explained that I’m the best girl and I motivated him and make him want to do well so he can look after me😭I needed some time I didn’t want to go into a relationship if I wasn’t going to 100% appreciate him, I had the time, and then I knew I wanted to be with him. Some family stuff went down and he offered his spare room to me “I’ll cook for you every-night, don’t worry about getting to work from my house I’ll sort it come round whenever you need” this is the first time I had seen him since me deciding I didn’t know what I wanted. We slept together, I stayed at his for a few more days and it was like everything was back to normal. He didn’t let go of me to whole time I was round and I told him that I had missed him and would love to sort things out with him. He then explains that being single is working for him, that he doesn’t want a relationship and says “at least if I’m on my own and I end up getting hurt, I’ll know it was my fault this time! We both have shit going on and we need to sort that before even thinking about being with anyone” because I hurt him🤦🏼‍♀️😣I adore this guy and I don’t know what to do? Any advice? I know I don’t deserve him at all but I’ll hate myself if I don’t at least try to get him back x