If you would have asked me in 2009 where I saw my life, I would have told you I was building a career for myself. Planning my life and wedding with my fiancé. We would have planned for kids when we were in our 30s because we had a future to build first. But God works mysteriously. In 2010, my poor health led us to a fertility specialist who told me I would probably never have children and if I wanted any chance, I’d better start immediately. So between 2010 and 2012, we actively tried to become pregnant. And we did in 2012, but I sadly miscarried around 5 weeks. My husband was pretty absent at the time because he didn’t “see the big deal” since we weren’t that far along. This and other reasons are why my marriage ended in 2012.

After my divorce, I had determined I probably would never be a mother. I enjoyed and spoiled the babies around me. My career fell a part in the last years of my marriage, while I cared for my great grandmother. I focused on just finding myself again after spending twelve years with a man just to end up in a messy separation. I got a new job, made a life of my own, though I still had miles of work to do on myself.

But in 2017, I met my entire heart in one beautiful man named Brandon. It made me want to open up my heart again. We were both broken, been betrayed by friends and family, relationships were shit, friendships were worse. We understood each other, and fought like hell with ourselves and each other to realize and accept we had something real and we both deserved the beauty of our friendship and the future we could have. And by no means is real love easy or lovely all the time, but it’s worth it. I had a whole angel in this man, and every day am thankful for him beyond words.

In July 2017, we found out we were pregnant. When we had that positive test, I was in shock and disbelief, but still felt so blessed. For someone to be told they would never be pregnant, and then to find out you are....what are even the right words for that emotion? We sadly miscarried before our first ultrasound. But Brandon was so kind and gentle. He assured me nothing was wrong with me when I felt like less than a women. He took care of me in the weeks after both mentally and physically. Made sure I didn’t loose hope.

Fast forward to now, and we found out a few weeks ago that we’re expecting! We had our first ultrasound this Tuesday, and baby has a strong heartbeat, and everything is exactly as it should be. Seeing that heart beating away, filled my heart with so many emotions. Now I know it might be the hormones talking, but seeing that heartbeat made me have so much more love and appreciation for Brandon. I feel like this baby is a sign from God that this man is where my future always was. And his too. His past relationships had no prior babies or pregnancies, but I feel like God saved this journey just for us together. Because this is exactly where we are meant to be.

I don’t know where a I would be without this man. And I say that as an independent women who has never needed a man or handout, I need this man and want this man in my life until we’re old and grey. He’s the most supportive and beautiful man I’ve ever met. He takes care of those he loves, and has dedication and dreams that are bigger than his needs and wants. And this is just the surface of this man who means the world to me.

I thank God every day for him, our family, and this little miracle we’ve created!