Is it bad I dont want to celebrate fathers day?

My father died when I was ten, my family is all going and I feel like I will be left out or that I would make things awkward. My mom gave me a choice so I said I'd go. My mom and aunt are feuding right now over the petty things like how my aunt bought a white couch and set a bunch of new rules, all while I was asleep tried to force my mom to make me go.

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