NOT GIVING UP (2 failed IUIs)

I tried for you again; February 25th 2018. I was so excited and sure this time the procedure would work. Two weeks past and time to check; I did check before the due date. "Do I have line eyes or is nothing there?" I feel pregnant; but once again I bled 😞😥😥😥😥😥😥. I was in denial big time; I tested again and again and again. A week and half later I bled again; I cried and I cried and I tested again and I cried some more. I still cry; it's emotional and financially draining. I can't afford to keep doing this procedure but I want you tank tank. I love you and you're not even here yet nor even starting forming at all. My womb is empty and my heart is hurting. I constantly think of what if or I suppose to be pregnant now or why did I wait so long, why didn't I start sooner before the grave disease. Why did I wait? I try not to do that or beat myself up about it. 😥😥😥😥. I'm not giving up, I'm just taking a step back and looking at things differently. It's hard to sit back and wait. It hurts to sit back and wait especially on something you want so bad but sometimes that's what we got to do in life. WAIT. I pray I can wait. I pray I can wait on the Lord to bless me with you. I pray my family will still be here to meet you, all of them. I pray you see how great your grandparents are, your uncles, aunts and cousins are and how much they loved you and how much they wanted me to have you. I'm not giving up, I'm just waiting on your dad. 💔👣👣😥😥👶👶🙏🙏