I joined this group after reading the ‘I’m Sorry’ letter. This letter was spot on. My husband and I have been together 8 years, married almost 3. We wanted to start in 2016, but I had a sinus surgery as well as a tonsillectomy. Because my sinuses were so bad, we had to wait to make sure I wouldn’t need a second surgery. The whole process of healing, doctor visits, mini in-office procedures ended in December 2016 with a final go ahead from the ENT. I saw my OB early 2017 and got her go ahead. But when I gained 40+ in 3 months we found my Thyroid had horrible levels and were told by that doctor we had to wait until my Thyroid was where it should be to avoid miscarriage and/or a baby with birth defects. When we got the go ahead from her, my husband and I decided to let nature happen. Shockingly, we got pregnant within the first month. We were over the moon! We found we were due 7/4/18 and decided to tell our families at Christmas. The week of Thanksgiving we found that the pregnancy was not viable, there was no heartbeat. We lost our baby that same week of Thanksgiving at 10 1/2 weeks. Devastated doesn’t begin to cover the feelings my husband and I felt and still feel. Thankfully, my doctor immediately ordered genetic and chromosome testing on me and told my husband to ask his doctor for the same tests. My husband is fine. We found I have a gene mutation on the MTHFR gene. Basically because of this my body doesn’t absorb folic acid on top of having a Thyroid disorder and Fibromyalgia. In the meantime of the start of all this, several family members have announced and had their babies as has many friends, several who are now due when I was supposed to have my baby this summer. I feel lost. I feel depressed. I hate that I lost my baby when I did everything right- doctors visits, prenatal vitamins, no drinking, drugs, or alcohol, eating right, getting tons of water, etc. I hate going to my friends baby showers. I hate watching tv because of the baby commercials. I hate that I’ve been told that it wasn’t my time, or that it’ll happen when it happens, or I shouldn’t try so hard, or the best yet- that I should have expected at least one miscarriage with my health history so I should just get over it. I hate feeling like a failure as a wife, a daughter, a daughter in law, and as a woman. If you’re still reading this, thank you. I know it’s been a long post. But it’s my story and it feels like a little weight is off my shoulders to be able to communicate with others with a similar situation. We have been trying again, the doctor out my on Clomid to help my hormone levels from the start. If it doesn’t take this month, they will adjust my meds. I’m trying to stay as positive as possible. Faith, hope, and baby dust to you all. I hope all our dreams come true in 2018!✨